Flame Trees
by jannuarryrose
Summary: Ranger returns to Trenton after five years away. No Babe HEA.


Many thanks to Cindy Cox (Sammaris) who took time away from writing her own story, The Price of Silence, to beta this for me.

**FLAME TREES**

~RM~

_Kids out driving Saturday afternoon pass me by  
I'm just savoring familiar sights  
We share some history, this town and I  
And I can't stop that long forgotten feeling of her  
Try to book a room to stay tonight_

_Number one is to find some friends to say "You're doing well  
After all this time you boys look just the same"  
Number two is the happy hour at one of two hotels  
Settle in to play "Do you remember so and so?"  
Number three is never say her name_

_Oh the flame trees will blind the weary driver  
And there's nothing else could set fire to this town  
There's no change, there's no pace  
Everything within its place  
Just makes it harder to believe that she won't be around_

_But Ah! Who needs that sentimental bullshit, anyway  
Takes more than just a memory to make me cry  
I'm happy just to sit here round a table with old friends  
And see which one of us can tell the biggest lies_

_There's a girl falling in love near where the_

_ pianola __stands  
With her young local factory out-of-worker, holding hands  
And I'm wondering if he'll go or if he'll stay_

_Do you remember, nothing stopped us on the field  
In our day_

_Oh the flame trees will blind the weary driver  
And there's nothing else could set fire to this town  
There's no change, there's no pace  
Everything within its place  
Just makes it harder to believe that she won't be around_

_Oh the flame trees will blind the weary driver  
And there's nothing else could set fire to this town  
There's no change, there's no pace  
Everything within its place  
Just makes it harder to believe that she won't be around_

**THE PRESENT**

It was a clear, sunny fall day when Ranger drove into Trenton, unsure for the first time in his life if he was doing the right thing.

The red oak leaves had changed and unexpectedly a memory came back to him of how much Stephanie had loved the flame colored leaves in fall, and how it had also made her sad as they eventually drifted gently to the ground and she realized that winter was finally on its way.

_Kids out driving Saturday afternoon pass me by  
I'm just__ savouring __familiar sights  
We share some history, this town and I  
And I can't stop that long forgotten feeling of her  
Try to book a room to stay tonight_

At first glance it appeared as if nothing had changed in the time he'd been away. It could have been yesterday he'd driven out of Trenton with that dull ache in his heart, feeling as if a part of him were missing.

It was Saturday afternoon; kids were out driving streets that were still recognizable after all this time, overtaking his slower speed as his eyes savored familiar sights and sounds.

The houses still looked the same, painted the same colors, and had the same lawn ornaments decorating the postage stamp size front yards. The shops were unchanged and seemed to bear the same family names. An unfamiliar feeling of nostalgia swept through him.

There was a lot of his history tied up in this town, history that he once thought he could turn his back and walk away from, leaving everyone and everything behind. But time had proved him wrong.

And as he drove slowly towards the city centre that long ago feeling of her presence, her smile, the smell of her hair, her favorite perfume came back in a rush so strong it sucked the very air from his lungs.

Shaking his head slightly to clear his thoughts, he pulled into the Trenton Marriott where he'd made a reservation for the night. If he needed to stay longer he would, but for the moment he'd play it by ear.

Carrying his bag from the elevator to his room, Ranger swiped the key card and walked inside. The room was spacious and airy with a huge king bed against the centre of the opposite wall. He sat his bag on the bed and turned around, taking everything in. There was a large walk in closet, a small dining table, a couple of chairs, and a pair of two-seater leather couches grouped around a coffee table.

Ranger took his toiletries from his bag and walked into the large, tiled bathroom complete with a spacious shower, a double vanity and a large wall mirror.

Thick soft towels were placed on a heating rack beside the shower and bathrobes hung from hooks behind the door.

Ranger stripped off the clothes he'd been traveling in all day and stepped beneath the hot spray of the water, letting it work it's magic on the tense muscles in his shoulders and back. He tried to block the images of Stephanie from his mind as they continually slipped past his defenses.

As he lathered his body with shower gel the scents of mandarin, szechuan pepper and oak moss filled the steamy bathroom and he felt his body slowly start to relax.

Five years ago he'd used Bulgari shower products and he remembered how much Steph had loved the smell. When he hugged her she'd nuzzle her face against his neck softly inhaling the scent of his skin, her glossy brunette curls tickling against his nose.

She'd taken a bottle of the gel from his bathroom thinking he didn't know. How could he _not_know that she smelled like him? He'd found it disturbingly erotic.

Against his will he felt a tightening in his groin and groaned.

Off limits, he told himself sharply.

She's someone else's wife, he repeated over and over.

Finally, turning off the taps in disgust, he toweled himself dry and dragged on a pair of soft denim jeans and a dark gray Henley. After pulling on socks and shoes, he picked up his cell phone, wallet, and car keys as he left the room, locking the door securely behind him.

Taking the stairs down to the lobby he checked his key card at the desk and took the elevator down to the underground parking to retrieve his black BMW Homage.

The deep growl of high-performance cars had always attracted something deep and primal in his body's makeup. He loved this car; it was his one and only vice these days.

When he'd been in Trenton previously he'd always driven Porsches. The BMW was another one of the many changes he'd made when he moved on; there were to be no reminders.

_Number one is to find some friends to say "You're doing well  
After all this time you boys look just the same"  
Number two is the happy hour at one of two hotels  
Settle in to play "Do you remember so and so?"  
Number three is never say her name_

He pulled the BMW out of the underground garage and turned into the traffic, heading towards Pino's. The first thing he wanted to do was look up some of the guys. If any of them were off shift, that's probably where they'd be, there or at Shorty's. He'd try Pino's first; he hadn't had a Pino's pizza in five years.

He smiled as he thought about the times he and Steph sat curled up together on the couch, in his apartment or hers, watching television and sharing a pizza while she made mocking remarks about his body being a temple.

He recalled the first time he'd taken her to Shorty's. The look on her face as she glanced nervously around at the rough looking clientele was priceless. He also remembered the arguments they used to have over who made the best pizzas. It was ridiculous the lengths she'd gone to, and the deceptions she'd used to make sure they always ate at Pino's. The thing he loved about her so much was that she never guessed she didn't have to go through that whole charade each time they shared a pizza. He would have happily given in to what she wanted just to see her smile light up her face.

Pulling into the lot at the front of Pino's, Ranger sat in the car for a few minutes, his hands rubbing his face as if trying to erase the pictures in his mind. In the five years he'd been away they hadn't faded, and he didn't know if they ever would.

This trip was supposed to be cathartic; a cleansing of his heart and soul, but it wasn't turning out that way. Instead of laying ghosts to rest, he was brushing the dust and cobwebs off memories he'd kept locked away for so long, and they were emerging as bright and as beautiful as the day they were created.

Looking around the lot he noticed a couple of brand new black SUV's. Something else that hadn't changed he thought to himself as he walked into the dimly lit bar. His eyes automatically looked towards the tables along the back wall and sure enough Tank, Lester, and Bobby were hunched over one of the tables with their heads together.

Ranger ordered a beer from the bar and made his way slowly towards the back of the room where he could now see that his three his best friends were arm wrestling and placing bets on the outcome. Yeah, Ranger thought, some things, and some people, just never change.

He stood silently watching them for several moments until Tank looked up, the belligerent look on his face changing to one of shock as he recognized the man standing in front of him.

Ranger had changed a lot in the years he'd been gone. His long hair was now cut short, no studs or hoops in his ears, he was thinner, and his body was all lean hard muscle, more of a supreme athlete's body than the sculpted muscles and toned bulk that he was once notorious for.

Tank got to his feet so fast, he knocked his chair over. He shook Ranger's hand and then grasped him in a hard man hug, thumping him on the back, uncaring of what Ranger or any of the other patrons of Pino's thought. Let them say one word out of line and they'd be picking themselves up off the floor or signing themselves into the St. Francis ER.

"Man, it's good to see you. We haven't heard from you in so long we weren't sure if you were even still alive. Why didn't you call and let us know you were coming?"

Ranger smiled and after shaking hands with Les and Bobby, he pulled up a chair and sat.

"The trip was a last minute decision and you would have heard if I wasn't still alive. My lawyer has instructions."

"Left the inmates to run the asylum?" he asked as he looked at his three top men, a small smile tilting his lips.

They laughed and then all began talking at once, firing questions at Ranger, asking where he'd been, what he'd been doing, what his plans were.

He let them go for a few minutes but when they realized he wasn't answering, their voices gradually faded into silence as they watched him, trying to read something from his blank, expressionless face.

Ranger looked at each one of the men in turn, thinking to himself that they hadn't changed a bit since the last time he'd seen them.

He smiled, this time his full on smile. "You all look just the same. You've done well, the business is thriving and I'm proud of you."

They burst into laughter and just at that moment Pino himself arrived with another round of drinks and four extra large Special pizzas.

Placing the pizzas and the drinks on the table he shook Ranger's hand and clapped him on the shoulder. "Long time no see, glad to have you back."

Ranger nodded his head in acknowledgement and Pino walked away collecting empty glasses on his way back to the bar.

"I can see your appetites haven't decreased." After raising their beers in a toast to old friends they tucked into the pizzas and conversation came to a standstill until all four plates were empty.

When they'd finished eating and their glasses were empty, Lester stood and wandered over to the jukebox. Fishing some coins out of his pocket, he pushed them into the slot and made his selections. On his way back he paused at the bar to order another round of drinks.

As the music began to play, a few dancers wandered out on to the dance floor, dull lighting overhead providing a slight camouflage for their movements as bodies pressed together, knees slipped between thighs and lips joined.

Watching the dancers Ranger couldn't help remembering dancing with Stephanie, the way her slight frame fit perfectly against his, the way she tucked her head against his shoulder, her lips against his neck, the feel of her hands tangled in his hair.

He turned back to the others and noticed that all conversation had stopped and each of them was watching him, looks of consternation on their faces.

He raised his glass in a salute and as they joined him in a drink, they began catching up on the previous five years.

Ranger didn't need to ask how the business had been running. His accountants and lawyers met with him by video conference once a month to give their reports and receive any instructions.

Without him at the helm the business had continued to grow and expand and Ranger's praise was genuine when he told them they'd done a good job. There was never any whisper of corruption, bribes, or shoddy business practices. The name RangeMan was still as respected today as much as it had been five years ago, if not more.

He caught up on all the Trenton news. Vinnie and Lucille had two children now, a boy and a girl, who thankfully took after Lucille in appearance. He had sold the Bond business and he and Lucille were moving to New York.

Lester mentioned that Grandma Mazur had passed away recently and after an awkward pause and a sudden movement under the table, Lester's face screwed up with pain as he bent down to rub his shin. He gave Tank a dirty look before asking, "What? What was that for?"

Ignoring him, Tank went on to tell Ranger that Connie was now married and the proud mother of a baby boy. She was back working at the Bond Office part time, job sharing with Lula who, it had turned out, had a natural talent for office management.

They talked about other people they'd had dealings with in the early years, some of the Trenton PD, Carl and Big Dog, and again there was an awkward pause.

Ranger pretended to ignore the sudden silences as one or the other of the men seemed to search for a safe topic. He knew what was bothering them, but he also knew they wouldn't mention her name.

_Oh the flame trees will blind the weary driver  
And there's nothing else could set fire to this town  
There's no change, there's no pace  
Everything within its place  
Just makes it harder to believe that she won't be around_

He hadn't thought it was going to be so hard, but as he sat there in Pino's amongst familiar faces, he realized there'd been no real change. Everything was still in its place and that just made it harder for him to believe she was no longer around.

Every time the door opened, he had to force himself not to look up. Every time he heard a woman laugh somewhere in the room, he had to restrain himself from turning and staring, to see if she had somehow come in without him knowing.

Nothing had changed, but without Stephanie there was something vital missing.

It had served no purpose coming back. Sure, it was great to catch up with the guys and the news of Trenton, but he could just as easily have done that by phone and avoided putting himself through this torture.

These old ghosts weren't going to leave quietly; he had a feeling they were going to haunt him for a long, long time

_But Ah! Who needs that sentimental bullshit, anyway  
Takes more than just a memory to make me cry  
I'm happy just to sit here round a table with old friends  
And see which one of us can tell the biggest lies_

Giving himself a mental shake, he wondered when he'd become sentimental. He'd always been able to hold his emotions carefully in check. When the occasion called for it, his eyes could become twin flat pools of darkness and his face a blank mask.

His Ranger training had taught him levels of control unheard of in ordinary men, but somehow Stephanie had always managed to get beneath that control, to get under his skin and make him feel. The little white girl from the Burg could twist the big, bad, kick ass mercenary around her little finger.

Fucking sentimental bullshit.

Hearing his name mentioned, he focused his attention back to the table.

Bobby repeated his question to Ranger. "So boss, what've you been doing since we last saw you? You were out of touch for a long time."

Ranger looked at the three men sitting around the table and wondered how they were going to take the news he was about to tell them.

Bobby, Tank and Lester had been part of his military life and they'd been through a lot together.

"I joined up for another four years with the Rangers. Most of that time I was out of the country, which is why you didn't hear from me."

He looked at each man in turn, seeing the disappointment and maybe even hurt reflected in their eyes.

Tank was the first one to speak. He'd known Ranger longer than any of them and his voice was cold and hard. Tank was pissed. "And you didn't think to tell us that's what you were planning to do, or ask us if we wanted to go with you?"

"When I left here five years ago, I didn't know what I was going to do or even where I was headed. I just jumped in the car and drove out of Trenton and ended up in Miami. I spent a week with Julie, Rachel, and Ron. While I was there, I received a phone call asking if I was interested in a one-off mission. It was high risk and there was no time frame for completion. The likelihood of success was pretty remote. I decided to accept the assignment after telling them I wanted to resume active service and sign up for another four-year term. They accepted, I signed, and that was that. I was out of the country for nearly four years. When I returned, I finished my time by brushing up on some of my other skills and signed up as a Ranger Instructor at Elgin Air Force Base in Florida. And I'm still there. I discovered I had an aptitude for teaching. Also, being in Florida means I get to spend a lot more time with Julie."

All four men stared at him in disbelief, disgruntled that he hadn't told them or taken them with him.

Ranger shrugged his shoulders. "You had your lives here. At the time I didn't know that was what I was going to do, and once I received the phone call everything moved so fast I didn't have time to speak to anyone."

Talk around the table fell silent as each of them were lost in their own thoughts, remembering earlier times in the military with Ranger as their Captain, and missions they'd barely made it back from. Did they really want that again? They were a lot older now and more settled.

Bobby walked over to the bar to order another round of drinks and Ranger glanced around the room.

_There's a girl falling in love near where the__ pianola __stands  
With her young local factory out-of-worker, holding hands  
And I'm wondering if he'll go or if he'll stay  
Do you remember, nothing stopped us on the field  
In our day_

For the last hour Ranger had noticed a young girl standing near the jukebox with a young boy that hardly looked old enough to shave. The boy held her hand, watching the graceful movements of her body, and the gentle smile on her lips. Ranger briefly wondered whether he'd stay or if he'd simply say goodbye and leave, like Stephanie had in the end.

But in those first few years with her nothing could have stopped them. They were together constantly, first as teacher and student, then as working partners, becoming best friends and for one brief night, lovers. Nothing could stop them when they were together. Life had been so good, seeing her every day, enjoying her company, stolen intimate moments, and the sound of her key turning in his apartment door. Who could have known it would come to and end?

_Oh the flame trees will blind the weary driver  
And there's nothing else could set fire to this town  
There's no change, there's no pace  
Everything within its place  
Just makes it harder to believe that she won't be around_

Finally, about three in the morning the group broke up. Tank called the Comm Room at RangeMan and asked for a vehicle to deliver a couple of drivers to drive them home.

Ranger, who had only had a couple of beers, said he was fine to drive and stood talking with them in the lot until the RangeMan vehicles arrived.

Tank, the closest to Ranger, knew his friend would be leaving. Tomorrow morning would find him gone, no goodbyes, no see you around, and he felt an unfamiliar lump in his throat. This man had been his leader in the military, his employer in the civilian world, his partner in business and his best friend. He'd miss him. He knew why he'd come back and he also knew it was the very reason why he wouldn't stay.

Looking into each others' eyes, they shook hands and hugged.

"Take care of yourself man, and don't wait so long between calls next time," said Tank, finding it difficult to speak.

Ranger laid a hand on his friends shoulder. "I can't stay, I never intended to."

Tank fought an internal tug of war with himself and then finally opened his mouth to speak her name.

But Ranger just shook his head. He knew what Tank had been about to do, but there was no point; nothing he could say would make any difference.

Who got it, did get it; and who left it, did regret it, an old proverb he remembered from his Grandma Rosa.

Shaking hands with Les and Bobby, Ranger angled into the car and started the engine. He drove out of the lot at Pino's and headed back towards the Marriot. Parking in the underground car park he locked the BMW and walked over to the elevator.

Back in his hotel room Ranger turned on the shower, stripped off his clothes and stepped beneath the needled spray, barely noticing the feel of the water on his skin as it ran down his back. Bracing himself with his hands against the wall, he fought against the painful memories. Enough was enough. He needed to leave Trenton first thing in the morning and this time there'd be no coming back.

_Oh the flame trees will blind the weary driver  
And there's nothing else could set fire to this town  
There's no change, there's no pace  
Everything within its place  
Just makes it harder to believe that she won't be around_

There was no change; everything was still in its place the same as it had been five years before. But for him there was no comforting solace in the sameness, it was harder because he knew she wouldn't be around. Every corner he turned, every doorway he walked through, he expected to see her, long curls tumbling down her back, her eyes alight with laughter, always so pleased to see him.

No change, no pace, and no Babe.

Unbidden and unwanted thoughts of her crept up on him again, refusing to be pushed aside. The times he'd showered in her bathroom after sleeping there the night before. The morning Morelli had arrived to find him coming out of her bathroom wrapped in a towel.

The night she rang him to come and unlock the handcuffs Morelli had used to attach her to the curtain rod. He smiled as he remembered her embarrassment at having him see her naked.

That night, his very first sight of her beautiful body, standing before him naked, had taken every ounce of control he possessed not to reach out his hand and gently touch her, to take her to bed.

So many memories he'd fought so hard to control for the last five years.

Ranger didn't sleep very well that night and after a light breakfast in the hotel dining room and a couple of cups of coffee he collected his bag and checked out of the hotel. Collecting his car from the garage he drove out into the morning traffic.

He had one more stop he needed to make before he left.

He parked the BMW curbside opposite the bail bond office and the bench where he and Stephanie had once shared the Sunday papers, coffee, and muffins. He remembered with a smile that Morelli had driven passed, coming to a screeching halt at the sight of them sitting companionably side by side reading the papers and sharing a picnic breakfast.

As he sat in his car, lost in his memories, he noticed a woman approaching the park from the other direction. In her hand she had a newspaper, an extra large take away coffee and a bakery bag.

She walked slowly and as she came level with his car on the opposite of the road his eyes raked over her body, the long brunette curls, and the slim, still shapely figure, and for one brief moment as those amazing blue eyes met his, he felt regret, so sharp and powerful that his breath caught in his throat.

He had been told that she and Morelli had moved to DC when he was promoted, that was the reason he'd made the journey back.

Her beautiful face lit up with a smile as she recognized him and for the first time he noticed the little girl walking with her, half hidden behind her legs.

She had a head full of curls the same color as her mothers but, he noticed with another sharp pang of regret, her eyes and her nose came from her father

He raised his eyes again to find her still watching him; her lips gently curved, her eyes soft, shining with unshed tears.

He couldn't tear his eyes from her and finally he admitted the truth to himself. He was still and always would be, tangled up in her. She was a part of him, the best part, and he'd let her walk away.

Slowly he opened the car door, angled himself out and slowly walked across the road, meeting her halfway.

"Babe."

"Ranger"

Their eyes locked for long minutes, remembering, lost in the past.

Finally, Ranger spoke. "Are you happy Babe?" he asked softly, glancing down at the little girl hiding behind Stephanie's legs.

Lifting her hand, she gently stroked the side of his face, her fingers caressing his jaw.

"Yes," she answered, her beautiful smile lighting her face.

"And you Ranger, are you happy?"

And, for the first time since he'd met her, Ranger lied to her.

"Yes Babe, I'm happy."

"I'm glad," she said, reaching up to place a gentle kiss on his lips, and with a last smile, she turned and walked back across the road towards their bench, her hand gently holding her daughters.

_Oh the flame trees will blind the weary driver  
And there's nothing else could set fire to this town  
There's no change, there's no pace  
Everything within its place  
Just makes it harder to believe that she won't be around_


End file.
